59 years ago I got my first picture taken with Santa, just found out it was with Grandma.

My neighbor and I were talking, when he brought up the fact they were going to travel abroad over the holidays to Beijing, China.

I said, "Oh that's nice, after the first of the year we too are going to travel."

He said, "Oh where are you all going?"

I said, "Well we are excited, were going to Walmart to see all the new Chinese products."

I just figured out how to get into Pandora... Use a credit card!

Are you sure today isn't Christmas?

I just saw a bearded man in a red coat carrying a 70 inch tv out of my neighbors house?

Must have been a wrong address?