Two old guys were chatting...

One said to the other, "My 85th birthday was yesterday.The wife gave me an SUV."

Other guy responded, "Wow, that's amazing! Imagine, an SUV! What a great gift!"

First guy, "Yup... Socks, Underwear and Viagra!"

A woman on the phone to her friend...

I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape, so I got my doctor’s permission to join a fitness club and start exercising!

I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors. I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour. But, by the time I got my leotards on, the class was over.

A night watchman is a man who earns his living without doing a day's work.

If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again; it was probably worth it.