Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what the Heck happened!

Knock, Knock!

Who's there? Amos.

Amos who?

Amosquito just bit me!

What is the difference between a good beer and a woman:

1. A good beer never goes flat.

2. A good beer never commits when between your legs.

3. A good beer never complains when you’ve had better.

4. A good beer doesn’t try to kill you when you tell it its too big.

5. You never have to impress a good beer, it loves you no matter what.

Three men were at a bar discussing coincidences.

The first man said, "My wife was reading a 'Tale of Two Cities' and she gave birth to twins!"

"That's funny," the second man remarked, "my wife was reading 'The Three Musketeers' and she gave birth to triplets!"

The third man shouted, "Good God, I have to rush home!"

When asked what the problem was, he exclaimed, "When I left the house, my wife was reading Ali Baba and the Forty Thieves!!!"