Yo momma so poor, when I saw her kicking a can down the street, I asked her what she was doing, and she said, "Moving."

A 90 year old geezer married a very young filly and was telling his doctor that they were expecting a baby.

"Let me tell you a story," the doctor said. "There was an absent-minded fellow who went hunting one day, but instead of picking up a gun, he picked up an umbrella. Suddenly, while he was out in the woods, a bear charged him. He pointed his umbrella at the bear, shot and killed it on the spot.

"Not possible!" the old geezer exclaimed. "Someone else must have shot that bear."

"Exactly!" the doctor replied.

Moses, Jesus and some' ol geezer are going to play a round of golf. Moses tees off, the ball goes right into the pond. No problem! Moses walks over parts the water and hits the ball again, where it lands about 1 foot from the first hole.

Jesus then tees off and the ball goes flying off to the left, hits a tree, then miraculously bounces to about 6 inches from the hole.

The' ol geezer steps up, tees off, the ball heads right for the pond, a huge bass jumps up grabs the ball in its mouth, suddenly an eagle swoops down, grabs the bass and flies over the green, the bass drops the ball and it rolls to just about 2 inches from the hole! All of a sudden a worm pops up and knocks the ball in. A hole in one.

Moses looks at Jesus and says, "You know, I really hate it when your DAD plays."

On his 10th birthday, little Johnny's father took him aside. "I think you're old enough now that we should have a talk about the birds and the bees."

"No!" said little Johnny. "When I turned 6 you told me there was no Easter Bunny and when I turned 8 you told me there was no Santa Claus."

"So now if you're going to tell me adults don't have sex, I don't wanna hear it!"