Favorite this joke A weeping woman bursts into her hypnotherapist's office and declares, "Doctor, I have been faithful to my husband for 15 years, but yesterday I broke that trust and had an affair! The guilt is killing me. I just want to forget that it ever happened!"
The hypnotherapist shakes his head and says. "Not again..."
The supermarket had a sale on boneless chicken breasts and I intended to stock up. At the store, however, I was disappointed to find only a few skimpy pre-packaged portions of the poultry, so I complained to the butcher.
"Don't worry," she said, "I'll pack some more trays and have them ready for you by the time you finish shopping."
Several aisles later, I heard the lady butcher's voice boom over the public-address system... "Will the gentleman who was looking for bigger breasts please meet me at the back of the store."
Eric is sitting at the bar staring morosely into his beer. Tom walks in and sits down. After trying to start a conversation several times and getting only distracted grunts, he asks Eric what the problem is.
"Well," said Eric, "I ran afoul of one of those trick questions women ask. Now I'm in deep trouble at home."
"What kind of question?" asked Tom.
"My wife asked me if I would still love her if when she was old, fat and ugly."
"That's easy," said Tom. "You just say 'Of course I will'".
"Yeah," said Eric, "That's what I did, except I said, 'Of course I DO....'"
Wife texts husband on a cold winter's morning:
"Windows frozen, won't open."
Husband texts back:
"Pour some hot water around the edges and then gently tap it with hammer."
Wife texts back 5 minutes later:
"We now need a new computer."
Free Daily Joke