Did you hear about the old man whose birthday one year lasted only one minute?

It was his sixty-second birthday.

A snake slithered into a bar and asked the bartender for a drink. “I’m sorry,” said the bartender, “but I can’t serve you.”

“Why not?” asked the snake.

“Because you can’t hold your drink.”

A piece of gold walked into a Texas bar...

The bartender said, “Au, get out of here!”