A man phoned to find out whether he could get insurance if the nearby volcano erupted...

They assured him he would be covered.

A man was crossing the road when he was hit by a car, which then sped off. A police officer asked the injured man, ”Did you get a look at the driver?”

”No,” he said, “but I can tell you it was my ex-wife.”

“How do you know that?” asked the officer.

“I’d recognize her laugh anywhere!”

What happened when two weathermen each broke an arm and a leg in an accident?

They were worried about the four casts.

Teacher: "Where did Abraham Lincoln live?"

Little Johnny: "At the Gettysburg Address."