Sherlock Holmes was carrying a box of lemons and placed it on Watson’s table.

Watson: Where did you get all those lemons?

Holmes: A lemon tree, my dear Watson. A lemon tree.

An antelope and a lion entered a diner and took a booth near the window. When the waiter approached, the antelope said, “I’ll have a bowl of hay and a side order of radishes.”

“And what would your friend have?”

“Nothing,” replied the antelope.

The waiter persisted, “Isn’t he hungry?”

“Hey, if he were hungry,” said the antelope, “would I be sitting here?”

“He’s great on the court,” a sportswriter said of a college basketball player in an interview with his coach, “but how’s his scholastic work?”

“Why, he makes straight A’s,” replied the coach.

“Wonderful!” said the sportswriter.

“Yes,” agreed the coach, “but his B’s are a little crooked.”

My wife said she needed more space.

So I locked her outside.