Paul: What are you making?

Arthur: A brilliant new invention.

Paul: Ha, ha, ha, ha!

Arthur: Go ahead and laugh. They laughed at Edison, they laughed at Bell, they laughed at Geck.

Paul: Who's Geck?

Arthur: You mean you never heard of Charles Geck?
.
Paul: No, what did he invent?

Arthur: Nothing, but they sure laughed at him.

My wife is a compulsive shopper.

She likes to buy everything that’s marked down.

Last night she brought home an escalator!

Ed: How old is your brother?

Ted: He’s a year old.

Ed: Huh! I’ve got a dog a year old and he can walk twice as well as your brother.

Ted: Sure, your dog has twice as many legs.