Favorite this joke A deaf old lady went to the doctor to find out whether there was any risk of her getting pregnant again.
He told her, “Mrs. Marx, you’re seventy-five. Whilst one can never rule out an act of God, if you were to have a baby it would be a miracle.”
When she got home, her husband asked her what the doctor had said.
“I didn’t quite catch it all,” she admitted, “but it sounded a bit fishy; something about an act of cod, and if I had a baby it would be a mackerel.”
A man was complaining to his friend: “I’m sick of the police telling me how to drive when they themselves are worse drivers.”
“How do you mean?” asked the friend.
“Well, just look at how many signs you see by the side of the road saying, ‘Police Accident’.”
Donald: Hi, Daisy...
Daisy: Don’t talk to me! I’m so mad I can’t speak! I was driving on Oak Street and a policeman gave me a ticket for going the wrong way!
Donald: Sure, Oak’s a one way street. It’s against the law to drive north on Oak.
Daisy: That’s just the point! I wasn’t going north, I was going east!
An Army brat was boasting about his father to a Navy brat. “My dad is an engineer. He can do anything. You know the Alps? Well, it was my dad who built them!”
“That’s nothing,” said the Navy brat. “You know the Dead Sea? Well, it was my dad who killed it!”
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