Little Johnny is watching his father, a minister, prepare his Sunday sermon. "What are you doing?" he asks.

"Preparing my sermon for tomorrow," his father answers.

"But how do you know what to write?" asks little Johnny.

"I write what God tells me," was the reply.

Little Johnny thinks about this for a second and then asks, "So why do you keep on crossing out?"

A fella walks into a bar...

Unfortunately, there is a pile of dog poop just inside the door, and he slips in it and falls over. He gets up, cleans himself up and walks to the bar and buys a drink.

Another man then enters the bar. He slips in the same pile of poop, falls, gets up, cleans up and buys a drink.

The first guy turns to the new guy and, trying to strike up a conversation, points to the pile by the door and says, "I just did that."

The big guy punches him in the mouth.