Lost my job at the keyboard factory yesterday...

I wasn't putting in enough shifts apparently.

I met a genie once. He gave me one wish.

I said, “I wish I could be you.”

The genue saud, "Weurd wush, but U wull grant ut."

A man is going from door to door. He stops at one house and knocks on the door. A man opens the door. The door-to-door salesman says, "Hello sir, today we're going door-to-door looking for those who might be interested in making a donation to the retirement home."

"Sure, that sounds great!" exclaims the man. "Grandma, grab your coat!"