It may be true that the early bird gets the worm, but it's the tardy mouse that gets the cheese!

Eagles may soar but you've never heard of a weasel getting sucked into jet engines!

My doctor called me a fine physical specimen. I later learned what these medicos call specimen.

Paddy and Michael were late getting home from the Pub and decided to take a shortcut through the Parish graveyard.

"Bejabbers" said Paddy, when stumbling over a marker, "Cassandra, 97, From Cork. She was a ripe old age!"

Michael chimed in: "Well, may the Saints preserve us, this stone reads: 'Miles, 122, from Dublin!"