Why is it that if you donate a kidney, it's a good thing...

But if you donate five kidneys, it's a bad thing and they call the police.

What is the NSA?

A government organization that actually listens to you.

The doctor gave me one year to live, so I shot him.

The judge gave me 15 years.

Problem solved.

You do not need a parachute to go skydiving...

You need a parachute to go skydiving twice.