Went to my eye doctor the other day...

Guess who I bumped into?

Everyone!

What do you get when cross an elephant and a skunk?

A smell that you will never forget.

Dad: "Can I see your report card, son?"

Son: "I don't have it."

Dad: "Why not?"

Son: "I gave it to my friend. He wanted to scare his parents."

Bob: "I took a big fall, fell off a 50 ft ladder."

Jim: "Oh wow, are you okay?"

Bob: "Yeah, it's a good thing I only fell off the first step."