Why are Comet, Cupid, Donner, and Blitzen always wet?

Because they are rain deer.

Little Johnny asked his father, “Where did I get my intelligence from?”

His father replied, “It must be from your mother... because I still have mine.”

I’ll do algebra, I’ll do statistics, I’ll even do trigonometry…

But graphing, THAT is where I draw the line!

After the honeymoon, the new wife tells her husband, “I think it’s time for you to stop playing golf. In fact, you might as well sell all of your clubs.”

The husband replies, “You’re starting to sound like my ex-wife.”

His wife says, “I thought you said you’ve never been married before?”

The husband says, “I haven’t.”