While on patrol, I arrested a burglar who had injured himself running from a home. He told me he had broken in and unhooked the phone before searching the home. He panicked when he heard a woman’s voice. I entered the house and heard the same voice... “If you’d like to make a call, please hang up and try your call again.”
On a first date, the young man thought he'd impress the young lady, a piano and voice teacher, by taking her to a karaoke bar.
After going up and singing a song, and now feeling confident as ever, he thought he'd ask a music question to impress her even more. He asked her, "What key did I sing that in?"
She replied, "Most of them."
Ever been told something, but you can't decide if it's a compliment or an insult?
Recently, when I greeted my coworker, she said, “You look so gorgeous, I didn’t recognize you!”
The beginner's guide to decoding work emails...
I have a question = I have 18 questions
I’ll look into it = I’ve already forgotten about it
I tried my best = I did the bare minimum
Happy to discuss further = Don’t ask me about this again
No worries = You really messed up this time
Take care = This is the last you’ll ever hear from me
Cheers = I have no respect for you or myself