The prospective son-in-law was asked by his girlfriend's father, "Son, can you support a family?"

"Well, no, sir," he replied, caught off-guard by the question. "Your daughter and I were thinking we'd just have to support ourselves, the rest of you will have to fend for yourselves."

Question: What’s the best way to make a small fortune in the stock market?

Answer: Start off with a big one.

One evening, a family sat down for dinner. The mother served fish and cauliflower. They were all eating, until the boy, chewing on his fish, found a bone.

He pulled it out of his mouth and asked, “Mom, what do I do with this?”

“Put it where you’re sure you won’t eat it,” said his mother.

So the boy carefully stuck it into his cauliflower.

A man walks into a bar and orders a drink. After noticing there are pieces of meat nailed to the ceiling of the bar, he asks the barman what they are for. The barman replies, “If you can jump up and pull one of them down you get free beer all night. If you fail, you have to pay the bar $100. Do you want to give it a try?”

The man thinks about it for a minute before saying, “Nah, no thanks. The steaks are too high!”