A bear walks into a restaurant and says, "I want a grilled............... cheese please."

The waiter asks, "What's with the pause?"

The bear replies. "What do you mean, I'm a bear aren't I?

The young couple admired the scarecrow they saw along the road. "Look at that," said the girl. "Not a crow in sight."

The boy looked at the scarecrow and said, "Good job scarecrow!"

To their surprise the scarecrow replied. "Hay, it's in my jeans."

“I’d like two pork chops,” asked the woman to her butcher, “and make them lean.”

“Yes ma’am,” said the polite butcher, standing then on end. “Which way?”

I patiently wait at the customer service desk for my turn. I had come back to return a pair of jeans that were too tight.

"Is something wrong with them?" the teenage clerk asked me.

"Yes," I replied. "They hurt my feelings."

The clerk had no response for me.