A father is washing his car with his son.

All of a sudden, the tired boy says, "Dad?"

"Yeah, son?"

"Can't you just use a sponge like everyone else?"

Don’t challenge Death to a pillow fight...

Don't do it unless you are ready for the reaper cushions!

"You know how you can tell that cats are smarter?"

"How?"

"Ever see eight cats pulling a sled through snow?"

As Jenna waits in line at the grocery store, she can't help but overhear the conversation of the lady in front of her.

"Don't forget to say thank you, and to sit up straight, use your napkin, and please, for the love of God close your mouth when you chew!"

The lady happens to make eye contact with Jenna.

Jenna says, "Kids, huh?"

The lady rolls her eyes, shakes her head, and mouths the word, "Husband."