Whenever I see a woman driving a bus I smile and think about how far we, as a society, have come in equality.

And then I wait for the next bus.

"What did I do wrong, baby? [silence] Sweetheart... tell me what's wrong."

"Nothing."

"I know something's wrong..."

"I'm fine."

"Just tell me what I did."

"You know what you did."

"I really don't! Please tell me so I can fix it."

"I shouldn't have to tell you. You should already know."

"Well, please... since I don't... please just tell me!"

[She sighs and turns around.] "Back in 1985..."

A man returns home a day early from a business trip. It's after midnight. While en-route home, he asks the cabby if he would be a witness. The man suspects his wife is having an affair, and he wants to catch her in the act. For $5000, the cabby agrees. Quietly arriving home, the husband and cabby tip toe into the bedroom. The husband switches on the lights, yanks the blanket back and there is his wife, in bed with another man.

The husband puts a gun to the naked man's head. The wife shouts, "Don't do it! I lied when I told you I inherited money. HE paid for the Porsche I gave you. HE paid for your new 25 ft. Ranger Fishing Boat. HE paid for your Packer season tickets. HE paid for our house at the lake. HE paid for your golf trip to St. Andrews and your new 4 x 4. HE paid for our country club membership and HE even pays the monthly dues!"

Shaking his head from side-to-side, the husband lowers the gun. He looks over at the cabby and says, "What would you do?"

The cabby replies, "I'd cover him with that blanket before he catches a cold."

Wife: What are your plans for Easter?

Husband: Same as Jesus...

Wife: What do you mean?

Husband: I will disappear on Friday and reappear on Monday!

Wife: AWESOME! You do that, I'll do a Mary and show up pregnant and untouched by my husband.

The man stayed home.