Dentists. Doesn't your mouth just hurt when you hear that word? Not only painful - but expensive.

"That'll be 5,000 dollars."

"What? Why?"

"The price of gold went up."

Little Johnny is riding in the car with his mom.

Little Johnny: Mommy, why is there a deer lying down on the side of the road?

Mommy: He's sleeping.

Little Johnny: Why on the side of the road?

Mommy: He likes the sound of the cars driving by, it's very soothing.

Most loving mothers change many smelly diapers. Every day.

Yet, they absolutely lose it when their husbands pass gas.

Go figure.

Police cars valiantly profess, "Serve and Protect".

Next time you get pulled over by a cop, say, "Fries and a Condom, please."