Customer: “I can’t seem to connect to the Internet.”
Tech Support: “All right. What operating system are you running?”
Customer: “Netscape.”

Tech Support: “No, what version of Windows are you using?”
Customer: “Uhhh…Hewlett Packard?”

Tech Support: “No, right click on ‘My Computer’ and select properties on the menu.”
Customer: “Your computer? It’s my computer!”

When I see lovers' names carved in a tree, I don't think it's sweet...

I just think it's surprising how many people bring a knife on a date.

A farmer and his wife got into a huge fight after which the wife stormed off. The farmer says, "Where did you leave the tractor?"

The wife replies, "In the Mill field."

But there's no way into the Mill field!"

"There is now."

A lady is at a job interview for a receptionist position.

"I see you used to be employed by a psychologist. Why did you leave?"

"Well, I just couldn't win. If I was late to work, I was hostile. If I was early, I was anxious. And if I was on time, I was obsessional."