A government committee was formed to investigate the emergence of Ireland as a world financial power.

After months of study and deliberation, they determined that it was due to the fact that the country's capital was always 'Dublin'.

Some men were swapping stories about their war experiences. One fellow who had been in the Foreign Legion was saying, "There we were, it was night, the odds were 1,000 to 3. We didn't know what to do."

"Well, what did you do?" another asked.

"When morning came, we charged and got all three of them!"

Buy your thermometers in the wintertime...

They're much lower then.

"Now this is the verbal part of your employment test," said the interviewer. "Can you tell me what gross aggrandized annuity means?"

"Certainly," replied the applicant. "It means I don't get the job."