Favorite this joke A woman was working in her yard with the weed whacker, when she accidentally cut off the tail of her cat.
She ran screaming into the house, and told her husband, wondering what to do.
He replied calmly, "Get the cat, and the tail, and we'll take them to Wal-Mart."
She was incredulous. "How could that possibly help?" she asked.
"Well," he replied, "they're the world's largest retailer."
A young woman is visiting her parents. While helping her mother fix dinner, she opens the refrigerator. On the inside of the door, she sees a spicy picture of a lovely, slender, perfectly built young woman.
"What's this about, Mom?" she asks.
"Oh, I put that up there to remind me not to overeat," the mother answers.
"Is it working?" her daughter asks.
"Yes and no," her mom replies. "I've lost 15 pounds, but your dad has gained 20."
Sarah was reading a newspaper, while her husband was engrossed in a magazine. Suddenly, she burst out laughing. "Listen to this," she said. "There's a classified ad here where a guy is offering to swap his wife for a season ticket to the stadium."
"Hmmm," her husband said, not looking up from his magazine.
Teasing him, Sarah said, "Would you swap me for a season ticket?"
"Absolutely not," he said.
"How sweet," Sarah said. "Tell me why not."
"Season's almost half over," he said.
Him: "This article says women use about 30,000 words a day, whereas men only use 15,000 words."
Her: "That's probably because a woman has to say everything twice."
Him: "...What?"
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