A little boy got a cold at school one day. He came home sneezing and sniffling, and his mother watched him with a knowing eye. Later that day, he was playing with his older sister when his mother called him into the kitchen. "Son, I know you're not feeling very good," she began. "Tomorrow for breakfast, don't eat your normal sugary cereal. I'll allow you to have some LIFE cereal after you eat a bowl of oatmeal, though. See, it's right here on the shelf," she pointed.

"Now, afterwards, I want you to have your older sister make you some broth from that ground liver we have in the fridge." Seeing the face he made, she added, "and then you can have some of the leftover sweet tea."

After the little boy came out of the kitchen, his older sister curiously asked, "What did she want?"

He promptly replied, "She just gave me the rights to LIFE, liver tea, and proper tea!"

A customer called his car-rental company and said he needed a tow. The driver named the highway where he was stranded, but he didn't know the make of the car he was driving.

The representative asked for a more detailed description beyond "a blue four-door sedan".

After a pause, the driver replied, "Well, it's the one on fire."