I got gas today for $1.49...

Unfortunately, it was Taco Bell.

I accidentally wore a red shirt to Target and...

Long story short, I'm covering for Debbie this weekend.

Bill meets Doug shopping at the mall and sees he has a small gift wrapped box.

"It's my wife's birthday tomorrow." Doug said. "Last week I asked her what she wanted for her birthday."

"And???" Bill asked.

"Well, she said 'Oh, I don't know just give me something with diamonds in it'."

"So what did you get her?" asked Bill.

"I bought her a deck of cards!!"