A not-so-smart person walks up to the counter and says: "I'd like a cheeseburger, fries and a diet coke."

The man behind the counter says "Look around! This is a LIBRARY!"

"Oh, how silly of me." says the person. She then begins whispering, "I'd like a cheeseburger, fries and a diet coke..."

My boss didn't come in to work today. He called this morning and said he was having a vision problem.

When I asked what was wrong, he replied, "I just can't see myself at work today."

Hard to believe, but many of our customers at the bank still don't know how to swipe their card through the ATM card reader. Because of this, my fellow tellers and I often find ourselves having to explain how it's done.

One teller complained that she kept getting odd looks every time she explained it. I found out why when I overheard her tell one man, "Strip down, facing me."

What exactly is junk?

Junk is something you throw away three weeks before you need it.