Doctor and patient conversation.

Doctor: "Can you give me your name and date of birth?"

Patient: "Why? Are you not happy with yours?"

Doctor: "Let's just move on shall we... can you take a deep breathe for me?"

Patient: "Have you tried oxygen?"

Not long ago, an elderly, slim and trim lady was admitted to the hospital. After she finished giving a nurse her information, she asked the nurse if she could help her to the bathroom.

Above the commode, she noticed a note. It read, 'Toilet weight 300 pounds'.

She turned to the nurse and asked, "Why would I want to lift a toilet?"

Five-year old Jeffery was sitting next to an elderly lady in church. When it came time to put money in the collection plate, the lady didn't have any money so she passed the plate on to the next person, who was sitting to Jeffery's right.

He watched the proceedings and finally spoke to the elderly lady, "We didn't want any did we?"

She had to contain her laughter.

During midweek church service, Ms. Smith was teaching the five-year old class. She opened with, "Is there anyone we need to pray for this evening?"

Bobby raised his hand, "Ms. Smith, Johnnie broke his arm."

"What happened to him?"

"He was playing Superman and fell off the top bunk of his bed."

"Then we will pray for Johnnie."

"What for? He's gonna get better sooner or later anyhow."