Mable your granny made the most perfect pie crust. Every line along the crust was equal and just perfect. How did she ever do it?

Well Alice, all I know for sure is when she made the final touches around the edge of her pie crust she took her teeth out to make the edge even.

Joe, I hear your are celebrating your 50th anniversary, any special plans for the wife?

Yes, I took her to Hawaii for our 25th and I thought I would go back and get her to celebrate the 50th.

If you are offered a penny for your thoughts and you give your two cents worth, where does the other penny go?

A major speaker for the annual auto dealers convention was visiting the rest room just before he was to speak to the 10,000 members. He was asked, "Are you our special speaker?"

"Yes, I sure am and I am excited to be here," he replied.

"Are you nervous?"

"No, I'm never nervous before I give a big speech."

"If you are not nervous, then what are you doing in the ladies room?"