Amos was sitting on the steps of the town store when a red convertible with Massachusetts plates rolled up and the driver says, "Hey, Bub which way to East Vassalboro?"

Amos says, "How did you know my name was Bub?"

"Just a lucky guess, I guess." replied the driver.

"Well, says Amos, see if you can get lucky again and guess the way to East Vassalboro."

His team was 20 points behind and the coach was desperate, so he looked down the bench to his 330 pound tackle that was not his brightest player. The coach called him over and asked him, "If I put you in, can you play ruthless?"

"I sure can coach! Which one is ruthless?"

A football coached was asked about his star lineman.

The coach replied, "He doesn't know the meaning of the word fear. In fact, I have seen his grades and there are a lot of words he doesn't know the meaning of!"

A neighbor asked his friend, who was celebrating 50 years of marriage, what the secret was to a long and happy marriage?

His friend replied, "When we were first married, we vowed to go out twice a week no matter how little money we had and we have done so for 50 years."

"Twice a week, you say?"

"Yeah. She goes out on Tuesday and I go out on Friday."