A security patrol officer in a senior gated community stopped an elderly gentleman in a speeding golf cart. "Sir, do you know your wife fell out of your golf cart when you hit that last speed bump?"

"Oh, that is wonderful officer", replied. "I am so relieved."

"Didn't you hear me? Your wife fell out of the cart!" the officer said in astonishment.

"You don't understand, I could not hear a thing for the last ten minutes... I thought I had gone deaf."

Little Johnny asked his dad, "What do you do when you put one foot on the boat and the other on the dock?"

"Swim," replied his dad. "You fall in, and then you swim."

Mr. and Mrs. Santa Claus were reviewing letters from children when Santa said, "I just don't know if I can grant this wish. It is impossible."

"What are they asking for?" she inquired.

"Alligator shoes," he said.

"We have all kinds of alligator shoes, what is the problem?"

"They did not give me the shoe size of the alligator."

After all the little children finished visiting Santa at the big mall, a 20 year old young lady went up and sat on Santa's knee. "I want to ask for just one thing for Christmas," she said, "and it is for my momma."

Santa replied, "I usually only answer little children, but since it is for your momma go ahead and ask me what she would like for Christmas."

"She would really, really love a handsome son-in-law."