Nate walked along a highway in Nevada shouting that, "the end of the world will come soon!" As he got closer to the city he came upon a large lever in the middle of the road with a sign that said "Pull lever and the world will end!".

He just knew this would be great place to preach his message. Sure enough, the traffic stopped both ways as people were forced to stop and listen. A large truck came over the hill and, due to poor brakes, had to decide whether to hit the lever or hit Nate. He chose Nate as it would only be the end of one person as opposed to the end the world.

The truck driver was unhurt but in deep despair over the the choice he had to make. A police officer tried to console him by saying, "Look at it this way, it was better Nate than Lever."

Harry arrived early for his date and he waited in the living room while she finished getting ready.
Her pup walked into the room with a ball. He tossed the ball and the pup fetched it.

He repeated the game a few times when the ball bounced too high and went out on to the patio of the 23 story building. The eager pup chased it as it bounced high against the wall and unfortunately went over the wall and down the 23 floors.

Shaken, Harry struggled with how he could possibly explain what happened to his date. When she entered the room, Harry said, "Did you notice how depressed your pup seemed to be today?"

The drunk asked the bartender, "Do your lemons have legs?"

"No," said the bartender, "why do you ask?"

The drunk replied, "I think I just squeezed your canary into my drink."

You know a mother once told her ambitious wall street son, "Money will not make you happy."

"That's true mom, but it will make you miserable in a better environment."