A fisherman began to drill a hole in the ice to fish when a voice called out, "You can't fish there."

He moved the drill a few feet and began to drill again and the voice repeated, "You can't fish there either."

After three more attempts he yelled, "Why can't I fish here?"

"You can't fish anywhere here, this is an ice rink."

A lawyer just purchased a new Mercedes sports car convertible and came to a stop sign. Arriving at the same time was a Hippie on a motor scooter, who leaned over and admired the beautiful car.

Annoyed, the lawyer sped away as the light changed only to see the motor scooter not only catch him, but speed past him. Now Angry, he stepped on the gas and raced to 100 mph, passing the motor scooter. Once again the scooter passed him only this time it sailed off the road into a ditch.

Ashamed, the lawyer caught up with the scooter and asked the Hippie if he was okay and did he need help. The Hippie replied, "I'm cool man, but could you unhitch my suspenders from your mirror?"

After a very passionate sermon the preacher was standing at the door to greet the departing congregation when one very upset lady said, "Pastor, I am very disappointed in your sermon...you said the word 'damn'."

"Oh," said the Pastor. "I am sorry if I offended you. What did I say just before that word?"

"I don't remember," she said.

"Well, what did I say after that word?"

"I don't remember," she said.

"I guess it was good that I used that word or you would not have heard ONE WORD I said."

Moe asked old Joe, "Joe, have your ever wondered about the hereafter?"

"Yes, I have wondered about the hereafter. Every time I go into my kitchen, I wonder what I'm here after?"