"Yes, once i came face to face with a lion, and to make matters worse, I was alone and weapon less."

"Goodness! What did you do?"

"What could I do? First I tried looking straight into his eyes, but he kept crawling up on me. Then I thought of plunging my arm down his throat, grabbing him by the tail and turning him inside out, but I decided it would be too dangerous. Yet he continued creeping up on me. I had to think fast...."

"How did you get away?"

"I just left him and passed on to the next cage."

A man was arraigned for assault and battery and brought before the judge.

Judge: What is your name, occupation, and what are you charged with?

Prisoner: My name is Sparky, I am an electrician and I'm charged with battery.

Judge (after recovering his equilibrium): Officer, put this guy in a dry cell.

As the after dinner speaker gushed on and on, Deacon Miller nodded, and nodded until his head rested on the table cloth. The chairman reached over and bumped him lightly on the head with his gavel.

Deacon Miller: "Hit me harder, I can still hear him..."