During a recent session of family court the wife was asked, "Why did you throw the pot of geraniums at your husband?"

"Because of the advertising, your honor."

"What advertising?"

"Say it with flowers."

The captain of the ship called out, "Who is below?"

A boy answered, "Wayne, sir."

"What are you doing?"

"Nothing, sir."

"Is Tom there?"

"Yes," said Tom.

"What are you doing?"

"Helping Wayne, sir."

A starving artist was discussing his recent painting for a local museum.

"Was it hung?"

"Yes, near the entrance where everyone could see it."

"Congratulations! What was it?"

"A board saying, 'Keep to the left'..."

A pedantic bore forced a conversation with a fellow passenger on a coast to coast flight, and made a great parade of his knowledge. The passenger listened as long as he could. Looking at him gravely, he said, "My friend, you and I know all that there is to know."

"How is that?" asked the bore, pleased with what he thought was a complimentary association.

"Well," began the traveler, "you know everything there is to know except that you are a bore, and I know that."