How many bugs do you need to rent out an apartment?

Ten-ants.

Little Johnny walked into his classroom with a fried egg on his head.

The teacher asked, "Why do you have a fried egg on your head?"

Little Johnny responded, "Because a hard boiled egg rolls off."

The bank robber enters the bank with his gun drawn in plain sight.

He walks to the middle of the lobby, pauses for a few seconds, turns around a couple of times, and then approaches a teller.

Then scratching his temple with the gun barrel, he says to the teller, "Do you ever enter a room and forget why?"

One evening a grandmother was babysitting her two granddaughters Anne and Betty. Presently, 8:00 PM rolled around.

"Okay, time for bed," she informed the two children who were playing in the den.

"Why?" Anne asked (aged 6). "It's so early!"

"Your father said your bedtime is 8:00," the grandmother said.

"You don't have to listen to him," the Betty (aged 4½) replied.

"Why not?" the grandmother asked.

Betty answered, "Because you're his mother!"