Shrink: "In your own words, please describe how you see yourself?

Me: "Reverse Tardis."

Shrink: "And why is that?"

Me: "Bigger on the outside."

Shrink: "And how does your wife see you?"

Me: "Same way, different perspective."

Shrink: "And how's that?"

Me (tears in eyes): "Smaller on the inside."

Owner of a aircraft manufacturing company stopped by the aircraft testing airfield to check on the newest test pilot.

He asked the supervisor how the new guy was doing. "Terrible! He has already crashed four planes this week!"

Owner replied, "How is this possible? Where did he work before coming here?"

Supervisor said, "He designed Windows software for Microsoft."

There's a fine line between a numerator and a denominator... and you can't cross it!

Old Programmers do not die... they decompile.