During war games between two Army bases, a Sergeant had enough of a Private that didn't seem to know which end of his rifle to point at the enemy. Instead the Sergeant gave the bumbling soldier a broom handle. "Point this at your target and yell 'Bang! Bang!' since you're too dumb to use the real thing!" yelled the Sergeant. So during the game "capture the flag", the dumb Private ran across the battlefield yelling "Bang! Bang!" Sure enough, the enemy soldiers fell when he aimed at them. "This is GREAT!!" and the Private started yelling over and over "BANG! BANG!".

Soon he came across a rather huge, tall, and fairly muscular enemy soldier heading right for him. "BANG! BANG!" he yelled. Nothing happened. "BANG! BANG BANG!" Still the enemy soldier approached and was picking up speed. The Private yelled over and over "BANG! BANG!" until the enemy soldier hit him, knocking the Private off his feet onto the ground and walked over him....

And was yelling "TANK! TANK! TANK!"

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To go to the house where the most gullible person in the world lives.

Knock, Knock
Who's there?

The Chicken

What if Ella Fitzgerald married Darth Vader?

Would she then be called Ella Vader?