Walking through the hallways at the middle school where I work, I saw a new substitute teacher standing outside his classroom with his forehead against a locker. I heard him mutter, "How did you get yourself into this?"

Knowing he was assigned to a difficult class, I tried to offer moral support. "Are you okay?" I asked. "Can I help?"

He lifted his head and replied, "I’ll be fine as soon as I get this kid out of his locker."

A mother complained to my wife, a schoolteacher, that other students were stealing her daughter’s pencils.

“It’s not the money, it’s the principle,” she insisted. “My husband took those pencils from work.”

I don’t want to brag or make anybody jealous or anything, but I can still fit into the earrings I wore in high school.