How does a farmer find new cows to buy?

He looks through the cattlelog.

Remember when we cried as kids, our parents replied with, "I'll give you something to cry about!"

We just never thought that, instead of hitting us, they'd destroy the housing market, quadruple college tuition, and melt the polar ice caps.

When a strip club isn't open there should be a sign that reads:

"Sorry, We're Clothed!"

I know a surgeon who puts organs back in upside down.

He says it’s an inside joke.