Favorite this joke I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?"
To which I replied, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?"
He smiled knowingly and nodded, "That's why we ask."
A customer asked, "In what aisle could I find the Irish sausage?"
The clerk asks, "Are you, Irish?"
The guy, clearly offended says, "Yes I am. But let me ask you something. If I had asked for Italian sausage would you ask me if I was Italian? Or if I had asked for German Bratwurst would you ask me if I was German? Or if I asked for a kosher hot dog would you ask me if I was Jewish? Or if I had asked for a Taco would you ask if I was Mexican? Or if I asked for Polish sausage would you ask if I was Polish?"
The clerk says, "No I probably wouldn't."
The guy says, "Well then, because I asked for Irish sausage why did you ask me if I'm Irish?"
The clerk replied, "Because you're in Halfords Clothing Store."
A man found a magic lamp with a genie who offered him three wishes.
"For my first wish," he said, "I'd like to be rich."
"Okay, Rich," the genie replied, "what's your second wish?"
There's only one reason I would take up walking again...
So that I could hear heavy breathing again.
Free Daily Joke