Drunkard #1: I will become the chief prime minister tomorrow!

Drunkard #2: That's impossible... I haven't resigned yet.

Teacher: What's 5 plus 3?

Student: Um... I don't know?

Teacher: You silly boy, it is 8.

Student: Wait... yesterday you said that 4 and 4 was 8?!?!

Film Producer: I am going to make a movie. Can you suggest a 'heart-touching' title?

Scriptwriter: I got it... Stethoscope!

The teacher was describing the dolphin and its habits.

"And, children, "she said impressively, "a single dolphin will have two thousand offspring."

"Goodness!" gasped a little girl in the back row. "And how about married ones?"