Teacher: "Class, we'll have only half a day of school today morning."

Students: "Yaaayyy!"

Teacher: "We'll have the other half this afternoon."

What is a forum?

It's two-um plus two-um.

John: Do you know how we can make varnish disappear?

Joseph: No. How can we make it disappear?

John: Just remove the letter "r" and it will vanish!

When do you stop at green and go at red?

When you are eating a watermelon.