Wife: “Why don’t you tell your friend that the girl he is getting married to is not apt for him?”

Husband: “Leave it. I am not going to say anything.”

Wife: “Why not? After all, he is your friend!”

Husband: “He didn’t tell me anything when I was getting married.”

A husband and wife are sitting on the couch. After a long day at work, they are both just resting and relaxing as they watch a tv show.

Husband: "I am feeling thirsty. Can you please get me some water?"

Wife: "Shall I also get you some pizza as well?"

Husband: "Oh wow! That‘d be great, my mouth is already watering."

Wife: "Good, that means you don't need the water anymore then."

Doctor: "I have your MRI results."

Patient: "Is my brain functioning normal?"

Doctor: "No. Half your brain is clogged with usernames and the other half is clogged with passwords.

In a class room exam, John was peeping into the answer sheet of his neighbor.

The teacher shouted, “No cheating John!”

John replied, “I am not cheating. I am copying. There is a difference!”