Husband: "I wish to be the Prime Minister of the nation one day."

Wife: "But you already are the PM of a nation."

Husband: "Really, which nation?"

Wife: "The Imagi-nation."

After his mother yelled at little Johnny, he retaliated, "Don't shout at me! I am not dad!"

Waiter: These are the best eggs we have had for years!

Customer: Well, bring me some you haven't had around for that long!