I always read my wife's horoscope...

To see what kind of day I am going to have.

I was playing badminton.

So I took some classes and they are paying off.

Now, I play goodminton.

A man climbs up to the top of a mountain. He shouts "I love you!" and waits for the echo.

The echo comes replies, "I have a boyfriend!"

Patient: "I'm having a problem with my eyes. I see something from far but then when I get there, there's nothing. It's gone."

Doctor: "It's a new disease. It's called ASRD syndrome."

Patient: "ASRD?"

Doctor: "It stands for 'Annual Salary Revision Deficiency' syndrome."