Last week a friend and I decided to take a day off and go to the race track.

I bet on a horse at 10 to one.

It came in at quarter past four.

A young salesperson peeped into the office of someone who looked like a sales manager, muttered something, then started walking away. After retreating a little he seemed to change his mind and headed back to the door -- where after some hesitation, he started to back away again. The sales manager, feeling sorry for the young man, and surprised that he was so badly trained, called him in.

"You're a salesperson aren't you? What are you selling?"

"Sir ... uh ... yes ... I'm a salesman. I'm sorry to bother you. I was selling insurance, but I'm sure you don't want any. Sorry to have wasted your time."

Feeling sorry for the young bungler, the sales manager bought two policies to give the young salesman some confidence and then started teaching him about selling. He said: "You should have different pre-planned approaches for different kinds of—"

"But I do, sir,” the young salesman interrupted, “the one I just used is my planned approach for sales managers. It always works. Thank you!"

My neighbor called and invited me over to see his new aardvark.

When I arrived he ask if I would like to play with him?

The aardvark was growling loudly and does not seem very friendly so I ask, "Does it bite?"

My neighbor replied, "That's what I want to find out..."

An infectious disease walks into a bar.

The bartender says, “We don’t serve infectious diseases here.”

The infectious disease says, “Well, you’re not a very good host.”