A football fan's wife says, "I hate it when my husband calls leftovers 'Replays'."

A TV Executive's wife says, "Well my husband calls them 'Reruns'."

Mortician's wife says, "Count yourselves lucky, my husband calls them remains!"

How many unemployed actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Six. One to screw it in and the rest to say they could've done it better.

One day a college student comes home for spring break, and he and his dad start a conversation.

"So how are your classes?" Asks the father.

"Good."

"How is the football team playing this year?"

"Okay."

"Making new friends?"

"Some."

"What are you thinking of majoring in?"

"Communications."