A father texts his son: "My dear son, today is a day you will treasure for all the days of your life. My best love and good wishes. Your Father."

His son texts back: "Thanks Dad. But the wedding isn't actually until tomorrow!"

His Father replies: "I know."

Grade school children were asked the question, "Why did your mom marry your dad?"

These are some responses:

1. She got too old to do anything else with him.
2. My grandma says that mom didn't have her thinking cap on.
3. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world, and Mom eats a lot!

As I walked into work my boss greeted me with, "Have a nice day."

I did. I turned around and went home.

What ten-letter word starts with G-A-S?

Automobile!